This morning was a dramatic example of almost drowning in a wave of darkness. Then, inexplicably, exploring the darkness led to coming out in the sun and riding the wave back onto the beach.
Awakening with terrible dread and foreboding, I felt judgment, fear, shame. Then the old Biblical phrase from my childhood spoke up: What does the Lord require of you but to seek justice, love kindness and walk humbly with your God?
I went to look up the right words on the Internet, as it has been years since I kept a Bible next to my bed. After finding the reference in Micah, I found wonderful spiritual seekers exploring faith and doubts and paths in their blogs and websites.
I found Quakers, everyday mystics, and people like me who feel that their entire life is about seeking Spirit and exploring place and purpose.
I also received an e-mail from someone whom I thought I had offended, and instead she was joyous and supportive and my projected fears evaporated in an instant.
Suddenly the entire burden was lifted. I have no better clue than two hours ago about how things will work out financially and otherwise. But just as I felt one day seven years ago about coming home (poem link in blogroll), so I feel this morning about being supported in the waves by unseen forces. Where I saw only turmoil and drowning, I was suddenly lifted out of the turmoil and shown the sun and sky once more.
What more could one ask?