Thursday, May 22, 2014
Ever since childhood I have seemed to be in search of purpose in life, of a meaning behind the veil.
Recently I saw a headline in the New York Times which caught my fancy: Writing About a Life of Ideas. That article is about famous philosophers and intellectuals. But I realize that the true story of my own life is a story about ideas, perceptions, reaching for something beyond what is easily visible. It is not a choice, just as my sexual orientation is not a choice. It is all just who I am.
Although genetically we don’t have a choice of whether we begin as an acorn or the seed for an apple tree, we do have the choice of how we grow. We can choose to open to whatever light is there to nourish us, honoring the seed of our soul, deciding to survive and thrive. Often I would prefer to have grown as a magnificent rose or a fragrant lily, but as with Popeye, I yam what I yam.
And from early childhood I have been wondering about the world and have been struggling to accept the night and darkness of life along with the sun and light of day. I made an enormous step of reconciliation with the publication of my book, SunCatcher: Walking Lightly in the Dark. But I finally realize it will be a lifelong process of recognizing the gifts of both the sunshine light of day and the moonshine or utter darkness of the night. So be it!
I began writing in this blog seven years ago, in 2007. Most years I wrote only one or two posts. It is a huge leap of faith to leave these pieces open to anyone who wishes to read them, because I have not even read them in years and there might be great shame. But this is particularly the uncensored blog.
Befitting the world of ideas and musings, these are endless, wordy comments on the state of the world and my own nature. Reader, beware and…perhaps look for a diamond in the rough!