When I say back again in a new place, I mean the old familiar place at perhaps just a bit higher on my spiral path. Since my last writing September of 2014, my life has changed dramatically. I moved to a different coast. I decided to just give up on everything. Instead, everything came to me.
Suddenly I had a partner, a place by the sea, a push to re-engage in life. That was 2015. What a difference a year makes. In 2016 my relationship ended then began again, my mother died, I moved away from my place by the sea.
Now I am lost again, even if I have so much of what I wanted. Yearning. Grass greener somewhere else. Know the goal is equanimity. Can’t find it.
Riding the waves of light and dark easily defines my life. In the bright sun, on the crest of a wave in the summer light, the world is a precious jewel and all life is sacred. In the dark night, the world is an unseen, scary place where a huge wave could crash over you and wipe you out forever.
The topic is relationships, and whether the artist’s (we are both writers, and I believe we are artists, as artists are self-defining anyway) best self is compromising in a relationship and growing intimacy and sharing or waking up in the universe alone, raw and exploring, sometimes terrified even of the new dawn, sometimes thrilled beyond measure at the prospect of a fresh day, new beginnings.
Guess this is personal, as if everything else weren’t. I will write in my journal.