I just sit and look,
Watching life go on outside,
Spectator no more.
Like these ducks I saw,
Swimming in the pool last night,
On the lam, they were.
Water all around,
Ducks don’t care if tame or wild,
Swimming’s what they do.
I want to be free,
Of my judgments, fears, wrong sight,
Not the truth, just thoughts.
Each new day I must,
See the blessings, give my thanks,
For all life to flow.
Who knows where I’ll be,
In two months, it matters not,
This day I am free.
Opening my heart,
Letting go of cords and binds,
I feel free again.
Trying hard is good,
When the work is keenly known,
And the steps are clear.
But when one is blind,
Moving here, then moving there,
Staying still can help.
List’ning to the voice,
Slowing down to hear the sounds,
That can be the key.
Once again there’s hope!
Letting all just find its way,
Recognizing joy.
I may still be fooled,
But my heart says look beyond,
All is lining up.
Sitting by the sea,
Is my joy, my deep heart’s way,
Coming home to rest.
All feels easy now,
Whether here or perhaps there,
Clarity feeds joy.
Cats or puppies too?
Hard to say as vistas loom,
Mem’ries I can’t lose.
Grateful here am I,
All the blessings now to see,
In the bright new day.
Storm and wind have passed,
Ocean still a roiling sea,
Spirit in the waves.
In the midst of storms,
I can not hear inner voice,
Guiding me to shore.
So I float and trust,
All will pass and soon one day,
I will hear again.
On this Sunday morn,
Sun peeks bright through leaden clouds,
Slowly ocean calms.
On the shore I see,
Lovely mother tall in skirt
With her tiny child.
Back and forth they dance,
To the edge of waves’ approach,
Then back to the sand.
Ah, the skirt is gone!
Now they venture past the edge,
Water up their legs.
Grandma is now there,
Crouching over baby boy,
Showing him the waves.
It is mother though,
Holding hands with girl child now,
Braving waves’ first cold.
So much happens here,
Families come and live their lives,
Stories I don’t know.
Up above I sit,
In my room close to the sea,
Loving change below.
Seagulls and their pals,
Squadrons of brown pelicans,
Catch my eye in flight.
Little did I know,
Pelicans are often white,
But just here, they’re brown.
Black or white or brown,
Colors of our lives, our clothes,
All our lights do shine.
Sometimes in the night,
I forget the sun will shine,
Bringing a fresh day.
All can seem so dark,
Hope a dream to never know,
Drowning in the waves.
Then a ray of light,
Starts to form far out to sea,
Just a glimmer then.
But it soon expands,
Flowing over sea and land,
Bringing dawn and hope.
So these cycles go,
Dark and light, spring, winter, fall,
Summer’s joy my home.
Still I welcome fall,
With its time to rest and know,
Changes are all part.
Autumn leaves do fall,
Winter brings its bleakness then,
Clarity of view.
Now we feel the spring,
New awake’nings, rebirth all,
We can breathe again.
May the lessons stay,
As with fresh eyes we do grow,
Blossoming once more.
I commit to telling the new story, despite a strong need to keep retelling the old.
I am so grateful my spirit has caught up to my body again today. I have been able to let go of doubt, worry, confusion. I embrace gratitude, helping others, seeing even my own light.
As I searched for inspiring quotes by women this morning, I met a new woman by her work, Mary Anne Radmacher. I came to find her by way of another unknown woman, Beth Buelow of The Introvert Entrepreneur.
What a gift to discover these women, writers, artists, introverts. They are each living out their own dreams and adventures, famous to some, unknown to most. I begin to listen to Beth Buelow’s final podcast from a series from 2010-2018, entitled “Endings and Beginnings.” I love Beth’s sentences about her personal evolution. She echoes my own knowing that we all are creative, creating not only expressions of art but our lives themselves.
Even as I age and evolve myself, I may express that Self in different ways. But I am always the same Self, just pivoting in different ways.
This is where having compassion for ourselves is so necessary as well as our compassion for others. No one can see inside. No one knows our true selves. By allowing ourselves to pivot and go in new directions or begin new things we discover more of who we have always been.
I arrive at my April scene by the sea, not the quiet winter refuge I know so well, but the beginnings of summer crowds. Easter crowds escape this covid year by basking in the sun, people, people everywhere, they love being free!
In the stores I’m glad to see masks are still required. I am happy to have shots. This is not about a pandemic, but about sitting quietly by myself to absorb the peace of the ocean.
Sitting here I write,
Feelings, views, what comes to me,
On this April day.
Nature must be part,
Of my haiku for my heart,
Even with these crowds.
Here I sit by sea,
Hearing all the welcome waves,
Wash up on the shore.
Things seem new to me,
How I know that each day’s good,
Knowing all is well.
Something’s changed in me,
Knowing each day might be last,
Focused on the good.
Somehow fear is gone,
In this day of giving thanks,
For just where I am.
Light and Dark: Riding the Waves 